Life in the Boonies

The past week has been very difficult both emotionally and physically. My dad had a stroke on 9/27 shortly after we just returned from visiting him in China. I wanted to drop everything and return to him but that is impossible with Frank and another baby on the way. Finding the small window of time to call there and trying to understand his condition over the phone made it even harder. It took many days before he was stable.

Just as I was starting to feel some relief, Frank got the stomach flu Tuesday night. He didn’t want to eat dinner but was very fussy. Finally he threw up all over mom. We changed him and mom and cleaned up. Then he did it again. And we cleaned up again. It was about bedtime so I took a bath with him. Then he threw up on me again. I must have the secret touch cuz Frank never throws up when dad is holding him. He continued to wake up that night and sometimes he found more food to get rid of. We go in with flashlights to inspect that his bed and sheets are still clean. Luckily he would yell for mom and held it til we carried him to the bathroom. Only one time when I didn’t get there fast enough cuz the last two times was false alarm did we have to change his sheets. He woke up happy and alert and HUNGRY and THIRSTY. He must be better. Not! After some breakfast, it all came out again. It was so hard only giving him little bits of selective foods when I knew he was so hungry. He wanted all his favorite treats and none of those were approved. Poor baby. We were good til after his nap. At least the time gap between the incidents are increasing. He has little pee and no poo. He threw up alittle more that night but mostly he was ok. He did well the next day but was not a happy playful child. So cranky it just wore me out. I was ready to collapse and was only holding on til Nat would come home. Nat finally came home and he started to throw up too. I guess I have to keep going. That night I also got the stomach flu. Now it is Friday. The weather was yucky with rain and reflected the state me and my family were in.

Somehow we made it through Saturday and even had friends over for a BBQ. After a phone call to China, I just totally lost hold of myself. It wasn’t even any bad news. Just the exhaustion from the past week and the frustration of trying to understand this new procedure they want to perform made me feel so helpless and trapped. I started to think about how if I didn’t have Frank I can just pick up and head over to China. Then that just made me feel more guilty cuz he needs me more than anything. My dad has my mom there, all his friends and relatives and his doctors too.

Sunday morning everything turned around for me. Frank woke up hungry again, big surprise there. He wanted pancakes and we told him that daddy doesn’t have pants on yet so he can’t go downstairs to make pancakes. Frank immediately went to the drawers and took daddy’s pants out and brought it to dad. We laughed so hard. Sunday is always laundry day but today I was so tired so I let Frank help sort laundry without much supervision. He mixes all the whites and colors. Then he dumps them out and resorts it, as if saying hmm that’s not right. We don’t usually lose socks but this time we were missing three. I found one that matched the one from last week. Another one turned up tangled in the sheets. As I was putting the towels away, I found the other sock, along with two other towels. Frank had placed them back into the towel closet while sorting them earlier. Again we laughed so hard.

My little guy is growing up so fast and I’m so glad I can be here to see it all. He is my bundle of joy.

Frank has perfected “mama” in all tones and volume. While it is only one word, it has so many meanings. When used with a whiny tone, it means I want it mama please, hold me and carry me to where I want to go. When used in a high pitch scream, it means I need you NOW, where did you go and I didn’t say you can leave yet.

Frank will also occassional says “dadi”. Sometimes it comes out dida. Usually he says it what mom tells him to go find daddy. He continues to use his sign language for dad and he is starting to notice the difference between what he does and what mom does in that sign. He is attempting to correct his to mirror mom.

“Glock” was one of the earlier words Frank said but now he has associated it with more than just that one clock on the shelve. He points to the one in the car and says it as well as the alarm clocks by our bedstand. I don’t think he has made the leap from digital clock to analog yet as most of the ones around here are digital.

One of our favorite things is train.  Since we take daddy to the Bart train station every morning, Frank says bah bah to mean Bart train.  Just this morning his second bah sounded more like train than bart.  Or it could be I was still half asleep.  Last time grandma Carol showed Frank that there is a bell on the train and now he says belh belh while twisting his hand back and forth as if shaking a bell.

He has not said other words but he tries to imitate some words.  Dad had a penguin on his T-Shirt and Frank came out with a sound that brings us giggles.  And the guanaco on mom’s shirt from Patagonia is another funny sound.  The other day he tried to say park and mostly he made the k sound.

In preparation for our trip, we researched both on the web and from other moms on what to bring on the airplane to entertain Frank. Through out the week we collected/brought those items. Some include blue paint tape, magnadoddle, photo album, his favorite books, bag of Cheerios, small set of nesting blocks, beanie babies, string, scarf, suction cup, washable markets and color paper. Then a last minute purchase of a rolly suitcase for him to pull all his toys in. We are ready for our journey (12 hours to Beijing, then another 2 hours to Lanzhou).

The Flight There
As luck would have it, the day before leaving we discover that our seats have been changed separating mom and dad. After calling several times, no one can tell us why or help fix it. After complaining politely at the check-in counter (with help from Frank putting on his cute face), the agent tried and tried and said she get the gate agent to work on it while we get through security. We arrived just as they call our names to give us new seats with no passenger next to us. The entire row to ourselves. How lucky for us! Frank loved sitting in his own seat. He took a nap after lunch was served. It lasted a good 2 hours since he was able to lay comfortably across the seat. We stuffed pillows everywhere so he doesn’t roll off. A few of the toys came in handy. The beanie babies got tossed all over the place, some books were read, and the blue tape was useful in deterring Frank from pushing the assist button none stop. What he played with the most was the seatbelt and the headset. He listened to the music and take it off giggling. Then put it back on and sometimes he wiggles to the beat. We buckled and unbuckled the seatbelt repeatedly. Then 3 hours before landing, Frank took another nap, which would usually be bedtime but he woke up as the cabin was brightened and announcements came. Through customs and all that with speed and we sat in the domestic terminal with plenty of time to spare. We exchanged some money, brought a phone card and called grandpa Seak so he can line up the pickup crew. Now we are all tired and cranky and there were no open seats on this flight. We made it finally at 7:30pm local time. Frank was falling asleep in the van but once we arrived and everyone wanted to play with him, he was wide awake. There were all kinds of toys lined up for him and that kept him reasonably content. After putting him to bed, he came out several times having no trouble opening the bedroom door. He woke up at 3am and didn’t go back to sleep until 5:30. The bright side is he quietly played in the dark in our room and didn’t cry or fuss. Mom kept saying it is still bedtime. That gets him to lay down next to her for a few minutes. Then he starts babbling to himself and eventually he get up and walk around the room finding stuff on the dressers.

9/11
SanMa bought fried bread and tofu mixture for breakfast. Yummy! Then we all experimented with the shower. There is a trick to getting the water temperature just right but we failed miserably on the first try. It was 1 min hot and 2 min cold. Grandma and grandpa soon arrived and we all played with Frank and chatted. SanMa cooked up noodles with bean and meat paste. Frank ate the noodles with his hands and made a big mess but entertained everyone at the same time. Soon we were all ready for naps. We had to wake Frank up to make it to dinner. SanBa was treating all of us at the Friendly Hotel Restaurant. Frank bulked upon entering the reserved room. He cried and clung to mom. All the waitresses wanted to hold and play with him but he was not ready for all this attention. We took turns walking him outside and back in, gave him a balloon, nothing worked. He also wouldn’t eat anything. Finally daddy got him to eat the carrot that was a decoration of the dish carved into the shape of a pagoda. Then as we all finished, he ate most of the fruit platter.

9/12
An decent night with Frank sleeping most of it. It was drizzling outside but grandpa took us to the park anyways. In trying to win the best city award, Lanzhou has put lots of money into renovating/building along the Yellow River banks. Parks and pedestrian walkways filled with trees and flowers stretching as far as the eye can see, on both sides of the river. Frank ran and jumped in puddles until his shoes and half of his pants leg was all wet. He passed out from exhaustion in the taxi back. Dad helped fold potstickers for lunch. Frank woke up in time for it and consumed 8 whole potstickers. That’s how many great grandpa use to eat in one meal, they all said. By the time mom and dad wanted to take a nap Frank was awake and playful. We wrestled back and forth and finally surrendered to him. For dinner, DaWei’s family was treating. GuGu also came. Again Frank screamed as soon he was entered the room. More strangers crowding him! He held on to mom with all his might and finally decided he can block them all out by going to sleep in mom’s arms. That he did the entire dinner, even with all the really loud talking and laughing. Two hours and the only view the relatives got of Frank was the back of his head. They were very disappointed.

9/13
After our regular morning routine of having breakfast and taking showers, grandpa took us to the zoo. We entered the Five Springs Park and Frank ran around along with some of the other children. He smelled the potted flowers and greatly impressed grandpa by not picking any off the stem. A highlight story repeated to many of the relatives. What good manners this little child has. There were so many animals inside the zoo and since it was a weekday during the school year, Frank was able to run free and cute at the few families/tourists visiting. We got to see an elephant, giraffes, zebras, monkeys, all kinds of birds, kangaroos, lions, tigers, bears, just to name a few. Frank wanted to climb into the fence until the animals inched towards him. Then he backed away quickly. He ran up and down the inclined road with grandpa both worried and impressed at the same time. There were also lots of stairs and cliffs that gave grandpa the scare when Frank got too close for comfort. All in all it was wonderful and we were all exhausted after having to keep up with Frank.

We opted to eat at the restaurant specializing in buns. Frank started his usual restaurant chant as soon as we entered the door. We sat in the main room with mom and dad on each side. He was able to see out the window where cars, trucks and buses zipped by. This appeased him and we had our first happy dining out experience.

9/14
After managing to stay on the bed all those days, Frank finally rolled off at 11pm last night. Otherwise, he slept through the night and is completely on China time. We spent the morning at a soccer field managed by San Ba. He was out of the office but his direct reports are all friends with grandpa so we got in no problem. Good old guanxi. There was a play structure but it was made of metal and wet from the sprinklers so we limited Frank’s access. We ran all over the field with several different balls. Then Frank rode on the musical ride-ons, all 5 of them even though 2 was broken. His favorite was the airplane and he kept pointing to the control switch to another round. Another successful lunch outing after that. Frank ate his Cheerios while the rest of us had yummy yang goa roe (curry lamb) that daddy had been thinking about since the last time we were in Lanzhou 6 years ago. We finally made it to the internet as Frank napped. All the internet cafes close by were closed down due to the proximity to schools. Too many students were skipping classes to go play games. We asked around and found a big one and it was filled with people playing games. Not young students though. Mostly young male adults.

9/15
Just went we thought Frank was on China time, he woke up at 4am and wiggled for 3 hours as mom repeatedly said it is still sleepy time. We visit grandpa’s apartment in China and Frank sees the walls covered with pictures of himself. A few should have the fine print “enlarged to show detail”. Frank took a 20 min power nap and lasted til dinner time. San Ba caught some fish the day before and San Ma cooked it up along with a table full of goodies. Frank slept 12 hours straight and only woke up cuz he rolled off the bed again.

9/16
Somewhat uneventful morning. We went to a city square to visit some of grandma’s friends but they weren’t home that day. Frank watched the scene of people feeding the pigeons. Before dinner, San Wei showed Frank how to work the treadmill. That was the highlight of the day. First he just sat and he gets transported off to where a pillow is waiting for him at the end. Lots of giggles. Then he watched San Wei walk on it once. He got on and just stood at first but soon he started to walk. He kept pace and balance. Sometimes he walked faster and reached the front. He stops and then is moved to the back again. Then he got comfortable with it and trusted the people to save him so he would walk some then turn around and land in someone’s arms. San Wei tried to show him walking backwards. Frank thought about it but didn’t really pick that one up. Finally all the laughter ended when Frank fell. But even after we turned it off, Frank kept going back to inspect where/how to turn it back on. With no nap and that much excitement, Frank passed out during dinner. He was still stuffing his face with rice as his eyelids gave out.

9/17
Visited grandma’s friends in the morning. Frank was not his shy usual self. He played and ate in their apartment. Everyone pretty much would let Frank do anything he wants.

9/18
Grandma’s friend from yesterday has a car and offered to take us to the other side of the yellow river bank. But first we stopped at a resort like place managed by farmers. There was a swimming pool, tea tables, a green house looking restaurant, and lots of pear trees. We were just killing some time while more friends were on their way. Then we all met at the river bank. This side is less crowded since no bus line runs here. Just as pretty with trees and flowers and paved road for Frank to run free. They even took their grandchildren out of school to play with Frank. He is sooo lucky. They were a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. They all ran around kicking and throwing balls. Frank tried hard to kick the ball into the fountain area (not running but still filled with dirty water). Good thing there were so many adults running to keep the balls dry.

9/19
A slow day with nothing planned so we visited grandpa’s friend in the morning. Frank did well and played with a spinning top and a zippy car on their floor. He also played with a toy basketball and let grandpa Yu hold him so he can reach the hoop on the door.

9/20
Our last full day in Lanzhou so we had to do one more family dinner gathering outside to thank everyone and to say farewell. The morning started lovely as we returned to San Ba’s soccer field. He was also in the office so we got to play some ping-pong and snooker. Frank tried to steal the balls out of the pockets and managed to throw his nerf football over the snooker table. He loved ping-pong and refused to give back the paddle. He carried it all over the soccer field and eventually home. This time he still enjoyed the musical rides but was not as intrigued as the first time. While Frank napped dad went to the internet cafe one last time and mom went shopping with grandpa. Before we were done San Ma called to tell us Frank was up. He slept only 1 hour this time so we hurried back. When we got there he was playing with San Ma and grandma. Too bad we are leaving tomorrow. He is getting used to it all.

Dinner was very successful because Frank was playful and happy and all the relatives came (except GuGu) to see him at his best. Lots of laughter and fun. San Wei and Da Wei did lots of lifting Frank up and doing stuns. Frank kept wanting more and more. He let everyone hold him and everyone saw a different child compared to 2 weeks ago. Lots of family photos after dinner back at home.

9/21
The Chinese saying goes “Going on the horse with dumpling; Coming down on the horse with noodles.” So as we got noodles when we first arrived, we are to be sent away with a meal of dumplings. San Ma and grandma starting making it in the morning. GuGu came over to say farewell and Frank played with her all morning. Then he ate 11 dumplings. They are slightly smaller than the potstickers but 11 is still alot for a little guy. At least he won’t be hungry on the road. We got chauffeured to the airport and arrived at our gates with ease. Frank got to sit in the front seat with San Ba. He loved being able to see all the trucks and cars and the scene through the front windshield. No car seats nor rules about where kids can ride in the car so Frank enjoyed it while it lasted. The nice gentleman sitting next to us left so we can have more space so we did. Once in Beijing we found a hotel near the airport. We ate dinner inside the hotel but also explored the streets some finding FourLoops popsicle for Nat.

Journey Back Home
Bright and early we had breakfast at the hotel restaurant again. It was buffet style Chinese food with soy milk. We arrived at the airport again with 3 hours to spare hoping that we can maneuver Frank into his own seat for the flight back. The ticket counter lady didn’t even look twice at Frank and indicated that the flight was full and there can be no seat changes for us. Frank’s cuteness can only go so far. Disappointed we headed pass security hoping the gate agent might help us. Frank passed the time playing on the moving walkway with dad. Mom and dad took turns exploring the shops to rid ourselves of the RenMinBi we still had. As soon as the gate agent appeared we went to inquire of the seating situation. She turned us down cold. Bummeroonies. Maybe if we wait til closer to boarding time and some people don’t show? No such luck. Only 2 empty seats that are both in the middle. We are out of luck for this ride. Frank was all done by the time we got to our seats. He wiggled and kicked and having no extra room to spare his presence was noted by the gentleman in front of us. He loudly voiced his discontent to the flight attendant. “I will not sit here for the entire flight like this!” he said. Luckily for us, he was with a companion so they couldn’t just move him away. Instead they asked the nice gentleman sitting next to us to move. He didn’t speak English but mom promptly jumped in to translate. I guess when you can’t play the cute card, you can always resort to annoying your way in. There we got our seat and Frank sat nicely for awhile and then took a 2 hour nap. During the flight Frank kicked the seat in front once more while trying to look out the window and immediately got a nasty remark. Guy must be having a really bad day. Some eating and playing and another nap that lasted 4 hours, only to be awaken because the plane landed. We made it home, almost. We took the Bart and finally arrived at home 10:30am on Saturday.